Prayers for discernment before marriage

How do I know if the person I'm dating is the right person to make a lifelong commitment to ? Has God planned someone else for me? Is this my soul mate ? Will this person make me happy? Before making a commitment, it's a good idea to discern whether I'm cut out for married life, and if so, is this person the right one for me ? Are we right for each other? Here are some reflections and prayers for discerning love . 

Is this the right person for me? 

Taking the time to discern for a true Yes 

Falling in love and wanting to make a life together is a wonderful thing. But before getting married, before making a lifelong commitment to each other, it's important to take the time to question your heart in truth about your feelings, and to discuss them in depth with your loved one.

• What do we share?
• What can sometimes drive us apart?
• How do we see married life? Family life?
• What are the values and pillars on which we want to base our marriage?

Engagement is a privileged time to get to know each other and see if the person is truly the one with whom to continue my journey and build my life. Parishes also offer marriage preparation courses, which are also important times for taking a proper look at the relationship. It's also a good idea to make sure we've come to terms with any past relationships (find a prayer to Mary for accepting a separation).

And to help you make a free and considered decision, we invite you to read our article on the sacrament of marriage.

Bonus: discover our article on 7 retreats for couples discerning marriage.

Pre-marriage discernment prayer

"Lord, I come before you today to ask you to enlighten me in the choice I must make. I love this person (mention his or her name if necessary), but I don't know if he or she will make me happy for the rest of my life, and if I can make him or her happy. 

Is it a desire for affection that drives me or true love? Will I be able to accept him/her as he/she really is, without wanting to change him/her? Does this person love me enough for me to consider a future with him/her? 

Help me Lord to see if this union is in line with Your will. Help me Lord to see what I don't want to see. Reveal to me what is hidden. Lord, grant me the grace of lucidity, so that I am not deceived by my emotions. 

May honesty and sincerity be the basis of our relationship Lord, so that I can discern who he/she really is. 

Only You can fathom hearts, only You know what is good for me. I entrust myself to You Lord. 

I also ask You to accompany this person in his/her choice. Bless her, touch her heart. 

May You accompany us to bring about the necessary changes in our souls to serve You together. But if this relationship is not in Your will, Lord, may we understand each other and have the courage to move forward separately. 

Lord, You are the first love of my life, and I want You to remain so forever. May nothing and no one turn me away from You, Lord. I sincerely ask You to keep me away from anyone who might draw me away from You, and to connect me with people who will draw me closer to You.

It is with a grateful heart that I make this prayer, Lord. Your time is perfect. Fulfill Your Word in every area of my life."

Find more prayers for discernment.

Am I cut out to marry and live as a couple?

Asking questions about my vocation

Sometimes a loving relationship raises a number of questions. Despite the affection and admiration we feel for someone, we can sense that our happiness isn't there. Is this where the Lord is calling me? What is my vocation?

It's important not to run away from such questions, but to address them confidently to God, asking the Holy Spirit for the gift of discernment. We can also ask for help and accompaniment to help with this discernment.

Frédéric Ozanam's prayer for discernment

"I feel a great emptiness building up inside me that neither friendship nor study can fill. I don't know who will fill it. Will it be God, or a creature? 

If it's a creature, I pray that it won't show up until I've made myself worthy of it. I pray that it will bring with it just enough outward charm to leave no room for regret. 

But I pray above all that she will come with an excellent soul, that she will bring great virtue, that she will be worth much more than I am, that she will draw me up, that she will not bring me down, that she will be generous because I am often the only one who is worthy of her.Let her be fervent, because I am lukewarm in the things of God. Let her be compassionate, so that I don't have to be ashamed before her of my inferiority. 

Don't abandon me, Lord, make me loved. As you know, it's not only gentleness that I seek in Love, it's contempt for every wound, it's the strength to fight for the Good, for the True. Amen"

On Hozana, pray for your couple and your love life!

(On Hozana, you can deposit your prayer intention; Hozana's members praying will be able to pray for you and intercede with the Father for 48 hours).