Day 7: The Gaze

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The way we look at someone, our internal gaze at a person shapes our manner of loving them and our relationship with them – but it also influences them, it shapes them. For instance, if you see your younger brother as someone who is mediocre, your presence will cause him to lose his confidence in him, and fit into this mold you assigned to them. If we aspire to love better, we must first change our internal gaze.   

Maÿlis, 23 years old, recounts the change of heart one of her acquaintances experienced: 

A buddy told me this story: he once decided to go to Mass during the week, which he was not familiar with. Everyone was waiting for the priest, so he got upset because he was busy, he had many other things to do, and the celebrant was late. The minister finally arrived, and he my friend immediately understood that the priest was severely ill: he suffered from Parkinson, he was shaking, skinny, and looked weak. My friend observed him and realized that, though he was frail, Christ dwelled in him, and he represented Christ; this ill man had enough courage to get on his feet to officiate a service– despite being late, despite all the energy it took from him. After feeling ashamed of his having judged too quickly, my friend ended up turning a new gaze, full of Love and admiration, at that priest”.         

 Practically speaking, how can we transform our gaze? Here is a tip from Yenofa, 23 years old: 

A girl told me how she set herself a goal: as soon as she meets someone new, she imagines that Jesus is standing in front of her, taking their likeness. This way, the person in front of her can feel this gaze of love and care towards them. In turn, they give the very best of themselves, and presents themselves under their best light. This girl I know,  she sees the goodness of others, and does away with any preconceived ideas she might have had if she didn't take this approach.
Here's another technique I use with the little girls I take care of (Ed. at daycare) when they give me a hard time. This can work with anyone, I think. I picture myself  about to die with that person, and Jesus is facing me, and I am to be that person's advocate. I have present to Jesus all the good things in them. When I imagine the presence of Jesus, it reconciles me with a difficult young girl; at end of the day, I see loads of amazing and beautiful things in her”.   

 A question to ask yourself :

Is there someone within my own circle (classmate, a colleague, a friend, a brother) I consider mediocre, evil, small? 

Am I not casting, consciously or not, a contemptuous look on their deeds and acts?

Today, I could pray to the Lord this way: “Lord, transform my gaze, act from within. Help me to see [mention an individual in particular] as You see them, i.e. as an unique marvel. I am well aware that You know them personally, and that You say to them “I love you, you are precious in my eyes” (Isaiah 43, 4)”.   

 You could also say a prayer to have a heart after god.

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Image : reproduced under Fair Use from https://www.stepsofjustice.org/justice-one-step-at-a-time/

Community prayer

A prayer of Mother Theresa

Help me to spread Thy fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Thy spirit and love. Penetrate and possess my whole Return to being so utterly that all my life may only be a radiance of Thine. Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Thy presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me but only Jesus. Stay with me and then I shall begin to shine as you shine, so to shine as to be a light to others.

Thank you! 79 people prayed

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone. Col 4:6

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