‘Search and you will find’

Mt 7:7

The Confessions of St Augustine, one of the most famous books in world literature, is really a description of Augustine’s search for God - and the discovery that God had been searching for him. He describes his search in these haunting words: ‘In dark and perilous places I was wandering. I looked for you outside myself, and did not find the God of my heart. I fell into the depths of the ocean. I had lost all confidence, and despaired of finding the truth’. Eventually, Augustine would have to admit that God was with him all the time: ‘You were within me, but I was outside, seeking there for you, and upon the shapely things you have made’.

Lent is a time to discover the God within who wants to reveal himself to us. The three-fold injunction to pray, fast and give alms is a good way to open us up to God, to let him come to us and surprise us with his love.

This happened to me on Ash Wednesday this year. The day before I was not in a good state of mind. I was unable to focus on prayer, and my mind was full of scattered and unconnected things that made me feel uneasy. Ash Wednesday came, a day of fast and abstinence, and I was busy with distributing ashes both in the parish and in a nearby school. Later that day, I became aware of a sense of peace and calm. I hadn’t asked for it, nor did I expect it. It came, unbidden, as a gift from God. My only response was to say, ‘Thank you, Lord’. God gives us gifts each day. Often we don’t notice them and they pass us by. Take the opportunity this Lent to thank God at the end of each day for the gifts he has given us, great and small. This will give new meaning to your search for God and God’s search for you. In the words of Augustine, ‘you touched me, and I burned for your peace’.

A reflection written by Paul Graham O.S.A., St Joseph's Broomhouse, Edinburgh, Scotland

Follow the Order of Saint Augustine (O.S.A.), Province of England and Scotland  

theaugustinians.org | Facebook | Twitter