The Right Measure of the Desert Fathers: A Path to Temper...

At a time when meditation has become the hallmark of many approaches to personal development, it is valuable to return to its Christian roots, walking alongside the Desert Fathers and Mothers. In the quiet recesses of their communities, they laid the foundations of a timeless wisdom, filled withhumility and charity. Enamored with the absolute yet mindful of human frailty, they never ceased to seek the right balance—that fine line between sterile austerity and deceptive complacency, between spiritual fervor and disguised pride. Through their secluded lives, nourished by prayer, work, and silence, these men of the desert continue to teach us today the delicate art of inner balance.

In a world where excess reigns in all its forms, where performance is valued more than depth, their voice resonates with striking relevance. It invites us to temper our excesses—including inasceticism—to redefine our values and our freedom, and to practice a joyful simplicity.

Let us explore the various ways to walk this path of temperance that is the Just Measure. From the struggle against the spirit of perfection to learning to let go, from maintaining the right distances to the enlightened use of our freedom, let us see how to allow the Spirit to readjust within us what had become unbalanced.

Observing and Adjusting One’s Behavior

The lives of these great ascetics may, in many ways, seem extreme to us. Living for 37 years atop a pillar, like Symeon the Stylite, is certainly not within everyone’s reach! However, the Desert Fathers do not seek to impose strict, universal standards, but rather to guide us in the quest for our own balance, to teach us how we are called to live here and now.

This quest for the Just Measure could today be likened to what we call moderation. Indeed, the Desert Fathers offer us insight to redefine our relationship with consumption, work, social media, and beyond—to find the  balance essential to  true spiritual health.

Abbot Poemen said: “I want each monk to eat little each day so that he is not sated. For fasts of two or three days give rise to vainglory. Indeed, the elders have examined all this and found that it is good to eat a little each day so as to remain hungry every day as well.” This is the royal and light path they have shown us. 

It is worth taking the time to analyze the aspects of life in which we may fall into excess. This may concern our relationship to work or a specific activity, our eating habits, or even our consumption of TV shows and social media. It is also worth reflecting on more general attitudes, such as the need for control, peace of mind, security, or even attention.

Identifying Excesses

While Just Measure is not a fixed, universal concept but rather a balance that each individual must discover for themselves, the quest for this balance raises a fundamental question: when can we truly speak of excess? Sometimes this feeling becomes apparent, particularly when we reach our physical limits. However, it remains more difficult to determine what constitutes excess when it comes to the health of our soul.

Let’s consider this apophthegm from Abba Sisoes: “Abba Sisoes was asked by his disciple whether, on the Sabbath, during an agape meal, a monk should drink three cups of wine. He replied: ‘If Satan is not there, three cups is not much; but if Satan is there—that is, lust—then it is a lot.’”

According to Abba Sisoes, excess is not defined by a specific quantity, but by the intention that guides us at the moment of action. It is therefore necessary to reflect on the various forms that Satan—in other words, lust—can take in your life; that is, when and how it leads you into excess.

In the Gospel of Matthew (9:15), “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.” isn’t Jesus telling us the same thing? Fasting and asceticism have their place at a specific, limited time; they should not be practiced permanently or immoderately. The same applies to all our practices.

Combating the Drive for Perfection

While excess is a danger when greed creeps into our actions, another, more subtle attitude can also lead to excess: perfectionism. It is certainly legitimate and beneficial to desire progress in the various areas of our lives. However, the quest for perfection can become a mirage, even—and perhaps especially—in the spiritual life.

In our eagerness to do things right, do we not sometimes risk exceeding our own limits? In our desire to perform our work conscientiously, to be attentive parents, to fulfill our various commitments, to take care of our health, or even to grow spiritually, we may end up neglecting to listen to our deepest needs or, without realizing it, imposing the burden of our demands on those around us.

So, it’s important to ask ourselves: Do we recognize our legitimate need for rest and relaxation? Do we know how to make room for a sense of self-compassion—a necessary condition for maintaining lasting balance?

Here is a beautiful saying that speaks to the right balance:

“There was a hunter in the desert who saw Abba Anthony joking with some brothers. He was scandalized by this. The Elder said to him, ‘Place an arrow on your bow, and draw it.’ The hunter did so. The Elder continued, ‘Draw it further,’ and the hunter did so. ‘Keep drawing it,’ the Elder went on. The hunter replied, ‘If I draw it beyond measure, I will break it!’ The Elder then said to him, ‘It is the same with the Lord’s work; if we push the brothers beyond measure, they will be broken. We must therefore be accommodating to their needs.’

Evagrius Ponticus cites a verse from Ecclesiastes against this desire for perfection: “Be not just to excess, and be not overwise. Why work your own ruin?” (Ecclesiastes 7:16)

Allowing the Movement to Unfold

The right measure, according to the Desert Fathers, is not a frozen stability but a living balance founded on a harmonious flow between welcoming and passing on, receiving and giving. The right spiritual attitude, therefore, does not consist in accumulating—even spiritual gifts—but in allowing them to flow through one in a dynamic of service. Thus, the health of the soul is measured by its capacity to become a channel rather than a reservoir, an openness to the common good rather than a place of retention. It is a matter of allowing things to flow, and ultimately, of letting go.

Just as there is no inhalation without exhalation, there is no receptivity without giving, no going without returning. The movement is perpetual. It is a matter of not accumulating, of fighting against greed.

Here is a story that illustrates this point well: “When a great famine struck the city of Edessa, Ephrem was moved with compassion for the inhabitants, who were all dying. He went to the wealthy landowners and said to them: ‘How can you have no pity for humanity as it perishes, while you let your wealth rot away?’ Ephrem managed the donations himself and was thus able to offer hospitality and assistance every day to all the inhabitants stricken by famine, drawing from what had been abundantly provided to him.”

In this story, Abba Ephrem takes matters into his own hands to facilitate the flow of goods and break down barriers.

After all, doesn’t Jesus say in Matthew 10:8, “Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give”?

It is therefore not just a matter of receiving, but—without forgetting gratitude—of passing it on in turn, allowing it to circulate: energy, goods, and gifts.

Discerning One’s Freedom

It may seem more reassuring to have clear guidelines, precise instructions indicating what to do or avoid in order to remain within proper bounds. However, Christ has restored our freedom, and it is as free beings that we are called to make our choices and guide our actions.

The Desert Fathers and Mothers exercised their freedom radically, choosing a rule of life freely accepted—not as a constraint, but as a path of love directed toward God.

Paul tells us:“'Everything is lawful,' but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is lawful,' but not everything builds up.” (1 Corinthians 10:23). Indeed, the freedom offered by Christ calls for true discernment: it entails a profound responsibility. It must be rooted in love for God and for others. As Saint Augustine says: “Love, and do what you will. If you are silent, be silent out of love; if you speak, speak out of love; if you correct, correct out of love; if you forgive, forgive out of love. Let the root of love be deep in your heart: from this root, nothing evil can spring.”

It is therefore important to reflect on how we use our freedom and the purpose we give it.

Maintaining an Appropriate Distance

In our human relationships, there is also a proper balance to be found. In our contemporary society, our relationship to privacy is undergoing profound upheavals. The growing demand for absolute transparency, amplified by the media and social media, tends to blur the boundaries of privacy. Everything is exposed, put on display, sometimes to the point of indecency… or, conversely, concealed behind illusory facades, creating a mask that distances us from our true selves.

Often misunderstood and equated solely with the physical realm, chastity is not reserved for monks nor limited to that realm alone. Chastity is a form of self-restraint that calls for establishing a proper distance between oneself and others. It is what makes an encounter possible while preserving its mystery, its intimacy, and its dignity. It calls for a balanced stance—neither intrusive nor withdrawn—but rather an attentive, delicate, and respectful presence.

An apothegm illustrates this attitude of proper distance well: "A brother went to a convent to visit his sister, who was ill. But she, being a devout nun, never saw a man and did not want her brother to enter among the other women either. She sent word to him: ‘Go, brother, pray for me, and, by the grace of Christ, I trust that we will see each other in the Kingdom of Heaven.’"

In this example, it goes without saying that the sister makes this request of her brother without rejecting him. The point, then, is to reflect on our own need for distance—and on our ability to express it simply and clearly. Similarly, we can reflect on our ability to accept others’ need for distance.

Joyful Sobriety

This famous phrase by Pierre Rabhi aligns quite well with the philosophy of the Desert Fathers and this quote from Pope Francis: “Christian spirituality proposes a growth marked by moderation and the capacity to be happy with little.” (Pope Francis, Laudato si’, no. 222).

From a Christian perspective, moderation and simplicity do not lead to impoverishment but, on the contrary, open the way to authentic spiritual growth. They allow us to refocus our lives on God and reconnect with the deep source of true joy.

An apothegm captures this attitude quite well: “When the fruits were ripe, Abba Arsenius would ask that they be brought to him, and he would taste just a little of each, giving thanks to God.”

Thus, for the Desert Fathers, Just Measure is not a matter of deprivation, but rather a precious opportunity to savor God’s gifts more fully.