The kind of spirituality and prayer many of us have been used to is concerned with making things happen, asking God to do things for us, trying to do things for God. Our prayer of stillness is all about being with God without any agenda. It is about just being there. We no longer have to see our spiritual life as a kind of battle- ground where we exert ourselves to combat our faults, or to attain the good qualities we associate with living the gospel. Nor do we have to strive to come closer to God. Our starting place is not here. As we have learnt from Augustine, the starting point is in resting, in finding the place of rest within. And from this place of rest we watch what God is doing for us now and has done in the past.

We focus on what God is showing us and we watch our reactions. It is an exciting adventure. As God sheds light into our hearts we resist trying to understand, or to make sense of our lives. That will come later. As we become quieter, as we learn how to watch, how to observe patiently and with compassion, we become aware of what is going on.

In the silence we know we have a choice. We do not have to be at the mercy of our thoughts and feelings. We let our thoughts come and let them pass on. We remain still and observe our feelings. We become detached.

It is a crucial turning point when, instead of being tossed around by our thoughts and feelings, we stay and watch them, refusing now to go chasing every stray thought, or being dragged away by every stray feeling.

We watch our thoughts as if we were standing at a window and they were passing along on the other side of the street. We observe them, distance ourselves from them, and just label them: anger, say, obsession, or resentment. It is totally different from introspection, which is the ruin of silent prayer. We become observers, rather than players in the games that are going on inside.

Even good thoughts, spiritual thoughts, that come to us are meant to be gently put aside. This is not the time for any thinking whatsoever. It is a time to rest from all effort, except the effort to remain still. We are just sitting, in touch with the present moment and taking stock of where we are. There is no tomorrow, no yesterday. There is just the present moment, and we rest in it.

While we are sitting, simply experiencing the present, experiencing the chair we are sitting on, listening to the sounds on the road outside, we begin to observe our mind and its movements. We are wide awake, watching, more alive than when we are dragged along by our fears, our anxieties, our fantasies.

We stay alert, receptive, and keep ourselves from daydreaming or drowsing off into sleep. Jesus told his disciples, ‘Wait here and stay awake with me’ (Matthew 26:38).

For a few moments we come into the present. Our vision has altered. Our perception of everything changes. We see how things really are.

An extract from Finding Your Hidden Treasure

© 2010 Benignus O’Rourke OSA

Published by Darton, Longman and Todd Ltd

© Photo: Ian Wilson OSA

Get the book: www.theaugustinians.org