Part 2 - Be Still and Know / Chapter 15 - Trying to Do All the Right Things

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The first time she was introduced to silent prayer a teacher friend of mine in Stafford had a great sense of coming home to God. ‘When I came to pray before, all the tenseness in my life seemed to be accentuated. I had had 40 years in a classroom of difficult children,’ she explained, ‘and anxiety each evening nursing an elderly relative.

‘I was trying to do all the “right” things to reach God and to come into his presence – formal rosaries and litanies, and daily Mass – plus going through stages of adoration, contrition, thanksgiving and supplication. It all depended on me, and my efforts and my concentration. I was exhausted, felt isolated and cut off from the Church, resentment possessing me, faith draining away.

‘The first time I tried still prayer, after hearing a talk explaining it, I could not believe the relief as that tension began to melt away. Gradually as I moved into stillness and relaxation I forgot all about myself, aware only of God’s presence in the sound of the wind in the trees, in the sound of the birds. And traffic noises seemed very far away. The more I tried, the more did I feel a part of God’s creation, and that it mattered to God that I was there, in it.

‘I have now become increasingly aware of the presence of God in the very centre of my being, sustaining me, giving me life. But it is not just a presence. I am aware of a deeply personal relationship, a very intimate and loving relationship with this great God. It is a very real relationship, such that I couldn’t have with anyone else.

‘At this moment of prayer, I think it is the only time I am completely honest with God, not trying to be anyone else, to compete with anyone else, not having to hide anything at all from him. I am finding a new freedom from all the things that fastened me down before – resentments, shyness, self-centredness. And above all it is giving me new faith and trust. It brings life and colour to all the other times when I pray, especially during the Liturgy of the Hours and Mass.

‘Silent prayer has become a “must” in my life because it seems that God has not only taken over my prayer time for me, but my life as well, healing me of all that has gone before. I feel I have come home to God. All wretchedness seems to dissolve away in his life-giving presence.’


An extract from Finding Your Hidden Treasure

© 2010 Benignus O’Rourke OSA

Published by Darton, Longman and Todd Ltd

© Photo: Ian Wilson OSA

Get the book: www.theaugustinians.org

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The great silence of the heart

'God speaks to us in the great silence of the heart." - Augustine of Hippo

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